I have no idea who the girl is. We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. If you feel like this about yourself then you may be worrying about what he will do while he's at university.
My thread is called Hurt and Confused. I told him straight away what had happened. For the last few years we have been trying for a baby and are currently going through tests to try find out why it's not happening. It happened two days ago. So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. Then you must be doing it wrong. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. You confessed your sins. What am I going to do? [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? Lol I love you already. Sentiment accepted, though. However most people don't have a commitment that SOULMATE has with her husband that they will be 100% Honest with each other NO MATTER WHAT! Of course there would have to be a lot of transparency in the marriage there after. Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. Myself and the man were sitting next to each other on the couch, and the other woman was sitting on another couch at the other side of the room. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). Allow me show you for future ref what someone who hates feeling guilty looks like:
This feels huge to me. Oh my god, (Brodie)bit my tongue! yells James. Don't hurt him any more than you already have. ;-p
Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. (SK, that award doesn't exist. instead of:
He is the best person I have ever met. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Your guilt is your punishment. I also could not fathom if you were ACTUALLY being serious or just having a laugh at her expense..alone in your tracky bottoms in your living room.
They say don't tell the wife or husband about the infidelity, because it would cause more hurt. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? I still feel so guilty and I just don't know what to do. My SO and I had been dating two years. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. Are you sure all you did was kiss? Lees theory has a big vulnerability. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. His imagination could go haywire over that one. Houston? you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. Make lemonade out of them. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. I worry I made huge mistakes in my life and that I am destined to life a "good" family life forever more, but never feel that amazing desire and lust and sexual attraction I don't feel for anyone else but this man. I could list so many reasons why, but instead Ill just list a few. The video shows twogayguys(fellow vloggers Jordan Jayro and James Butler) partner with four straight men togive them their first man-to-mansnog. The first step to a broken loyalty is a first kiss. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A
My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). By clicking 'Submit' or otherwise submitting this form you agree to the, By entering this site you declare but all of a sudden I feel REALLY angry. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you it's okay. Lee.. you are too funny. I want to break down and cry. Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). Can you tthan please explain this? What should I do. He screamed and raged and then left to the lake and sent me a text saying he cannot trust someone who would make an unwise decision like that. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? Relationships are about trust, first and foremost. I practise what I preach, me. But I do have to state it or I'm failing to do this role properly as well as my innate compulsion to be unwaveringly socially and morally responsible - meaning, if you don't want to respond, don't. "and even though he said he immediately pulled away"
JavaScript is disabled. If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. I'm so confused. That's alright, that's a common mistake. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. So this was the whole tone in which I recounted it to hubby, ergo, he thought it was amusing (the event and my comeback), flattering to him *and* reassuring. Past is something you cannot change. Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk.
I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A
The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? | Add your answer to this question! I'm mortified. I had only taken three years of piano lessons while still a teenager, and here I was in my late 40s studying piano again. Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. Nooooo, surely not. I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). Other way around. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. Hi Scope! I'm sure you'll survive if you don't tell him and I'm certain that he doesn't need to know. It's mos becoming serious and we really like each other! I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. The planet won't stop revolving around the Sun if you don't tell him. Okay. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. Have a happy day every one. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! PS: Don't ever drop it, will you. I went to a party with friends last night and I kissed someone.. What is he supposed to do with this information?
I was the driver so I did not drink at all just the wto girls. 99% of us in this situation would do exactly as SUSIEQDD posted. You can't fake that . Still, now that the courts are coming down wider and heavier on emotional abuse, I'm sure it's just a matter of time. You're denying him that right and being selfish. I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home. Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. v5.00a - 0.32607s [RUM] 2023-03-03 02:57:10. "then the cheeky ugger only went and bloody kissed me, didn't he! I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. You cheated. I told him later that I thought it was misunderstood and apologized. I am not someone that cheats on people, I am just a nice lad who gets carried away in the moment when drunk. Guilt protects our relationships. I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. Well, then, let me enlighten you. With the other woman just across the room! I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. "Soz". I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. Anyway I'll get off this post now. It happens, in other words. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? You have no right to unburden your conscience at the expense of your partners happiness. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing.
But fine, then 'It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it': give him the truth *cleverly*. (and more like her as well, please, Bartender! What are you going to do, then? "what the hell where we at?" (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) Amazing how long this subject has carried on. Would they be as lenient? lover. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. 2. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. I know he would forgive me but I don't want to deal with issue with him. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. Well, that's all fairly laudible but
But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. Yup. California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too .
A
Hello, TheBestAdvice: Im glad you thought my post was intelligent and that you could relate to it. Egon Ronay-level Petit Degustation, requires the corresponding amount of TIME in which to do so. Please leave me a comment. :p
Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. I am the same way. Once was after we'd had a bit of a heavy talk earlier, and the other two were after we dropped one of the little ones off at the grandparents and he started talking about if it gets easier to leave a child (ie when you have weekend contact and you have to drop the child back off at the end of it.). If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. So if life hands you lemons, don't HIDE them where they could one day trip you up or cause a rotten stink. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. I'm 5 years married to my best friend. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. Okay if it was me who did that even thou I dont drink Ill first ask him as if its someone else who did it, like a friend or a colleague and if he overracts then think again but if hes all cool about it then break ice. I'm asking myself all sorts of questions like did I like him, is that why I did it? You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" Thank you soulmate,but I'm getting over those issues. That's a long time for kissing. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. It really depends on the dynamics of your relationship though. All of sudden my guy friend stopped texting me good morning and good night Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. She may say that. female
That was crazy' and other awkward things. I've never gone to a counsellor before, but I'm going to see one next week to talk through it. If you we're my girlfriend and it was years ago and never happened again I would not want to know. reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A
Go cold turkey. However for the next time please be careful and never do such a blunder because he's a gem and you should not lose him just for your stupid or foolish acts .i mean any sophisticated or a ONE MAN WOMAN (a proud title for me :) and hopflly for u too ) wont like to stress her relatn or leave a man whom she loves or take him in a position where he might leave ? I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. Your punishment is living with this. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . This is what I'd do because my relationship with my husband is stellar and we both want to keep it that way, and it's such precisely BECAUSE we're this 24/7 honest and transparent with each other (Speak-Your-Thoughts machines). The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. But not good enough and you not happy enough to exclude fore-foreplay (open-mouthed kissing) with someone (*ugh) other than him as per the for-life contract? Unforeseeable consequence. This post is probably the most intelligent and insightful posts Ive seen on this site. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Mr S lived there once (San Fransisco), but he hasn't any urge to return, either. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. Secrets have no place in a marriage. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. [1] you didn't foresee and avoid being in that predicament.
Remind her of your good points.
I had three If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. I knew you liked him/her. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after.
You drank and you kissed. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. Whoops. reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): A
I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. [2] ..you showed you don't think of he and you as a team by sharing all information pertinent to the relationship;
He doesn't deserve to be hurt by this. We may share information about your use of our site with trusted advertising and analytics partners. ;-))
I am heartbroken but told him I understand that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt trust me. He Have Lipstick Stain Or Make Up Stain On His Face It's an obvious sign that someone kissed him. The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. Saying that, however, I note you wrote:
Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. Thank you. He encouraged me to to ring for a taxi from his house which I did. I mean that in a funny way. Oh, and FYI again: so drunk I didn't know what I was doing tends NOT to be so plugged-in she 5 minutes beforehand notices the sleeping other person needs a blankie and a tucking-in. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. One of the best ways is to offer effective apologies. Simone was telling a caller how satisfy his girlfriend. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? And for science-based tips for managing guilt, check out my book, Emotional First Aid. As for what we believe about kissing being the gateway to sex (specifically foreplay, which itself is the main gate): if anyone believes it *isn't*, thenwellAll I could say to that is:
I'd never be able to get over it. When you go out and get drunk- if you find yourself attracted to another man- think back to how you feel now after you acted on that attraction. if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . Actually I really don't have any experience at all. I just knew you would cheat on me if given half a chance.. Hi SoulMate! PostedNovember 9, 2014 Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. I dont know what else to do. ;-)). Kissing someone other than your spouse is cheating. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. Guilt occurs primarily in interpersonal contexts and is considered a "pro-social" emotion because it helps you maintain good relations with others. I gave up playing tennis with him. Personally I don't believe in marriage. But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. I can't stop playing it over again and again. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. I also agree with SUSIEDQQ that is won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to her or her marriage. Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. Does she feel guilty over leaving me for another guy? It how you deal with it that makes the difference. In that sort of scenario, where the kiss (or any intimate contact) lingers for more than half a second - or, put more simply, isn't the kind you'd feel comfortable giving/receiving from your own parent or grandparent - it's an opening of the door, whether or not you subsequently recover your senses and slam it shut again. female
You lied to me for 2 years? DON'T: Kiss and tell to someone you're kissing. ?We were doing well and I was afraid he would never forgive me.